What the hell was I thinking... that people are going to come and kiss my feet....or that they are goin to appreciate my work ...that they are going to put a garland of roses around my neck or crown me .......I was a fool to think that the world is good...I was a fool to think that people love me...I was a fool to think that I could trust that I could rely....I was nothing but a big FOOL. I cant express how hurting it is when all ur dreams are shattered...I cant express how painful it is when you dont get the happiness u deserve....when ur rights are not gven to u when all u have got to do is wait with this hopeless hope that maybe things will get right....I empathize with all those who have gone through similar feelings due to different reasons of course..I realize the pain and I am now able to connect better with hurt...Somehow things have made me so hard...somehow things have made me that which I didnt want to be...I regret ....I regert a lot of things ....but then I have the sense now to undersatnd that this is what life is for ME....This isnt pessimism....It is a new optimistic out look...It is a new 'I dont care ' attitude...It is just the way it is....I have grown....grown coz now I am capable of laughing at myself... hahaha.....I blame only myself for all that I have been through...only I am responsible...I had chances of taking different stances but I chose to be good, understanding, supportive, helping...Because all this while I was thinking that one is not known by his/her capabilties but by the choices one makes....This trend of thought suits the religious, moral,or rather the bookish world ..The people that I live among are very hard and demoralistic(if any such word exists).....Nobody here is bothered abt what one has chosen ..I dont think it is noticed even....Let me put in a saying...''Kaam Ke Liye Gadhe Ko Bhi Baap Banana Padta Hai''...Which means tht if anyone has any kind of advantage then one is capable of accepting even the donkey as a father......As soon as the needs are over the poor donkey is kicked and beaten...Can any of the animal rights activists help me out here???....hahaha.....
Whtever happens I can't lose my 'Sense Of Humour'...It is something that stays with me through thick and thin...My loyal and trustworthy partner...Partner in all times especially the difficult ones...hahaha....
