Beseeeeeeeeeech!

Its been ages since I last posted on my blog. I just havnt had the time.
Life since then has been moving in leaps and bounds and now suddenly seems to have come to a standstill. I wish time would fly and these bad circumstances would just pass by with the wind.I had prayed in my last post to let my happiness remain ..guess allah had something else in mind for me. Time has taught me so much that now i seem to be numb and feelingless, yet somewhere there is hope. I cant believe that I am seeing so much at such a young age. I cant believe that I am shouldering so many responsibilities at one time. I am amazed at myself. I guess when allah decided to allot me the tests he mercifully gave me the strength even. But there are some weak moments when I lose out completely and the unfairness of the whole situation bites hard into my heart. I want to wail loudly and ask allah 'Why Me?' Dont I have the right to happiness? Everybody around me is happy, then why am i being subjected to so much pain at one time? Plz give me only that much which I can take. Rest I cannot tolerate. Then I realize that there are people in worse situations and what it actually means to fight in life. I realize my ungratefullness towards the almighty and I beg him to forgive me. Whtever condition he has and is keeping me in is not only increasing my patience but also making me a better person. However i do lash out at one person and become desperately impatient with my parents for which i am extremely sorry but i know that it is only you guys who will understand wht i am going through...thank you for bearing with me. May allah fulfill all ur duaas and may he always shower his blessings on u and may he always give u the patience to help and encourage me and understand me and may he always be there with u and me and guide us towards the right path and may he relieve me of these ugly sitautions and bring the happiness back into my life. Ameen.